Alexander Skarsgard....

My favourite characters in True Blood... hmmm...

Love is blind? Or does love make fools out of people...

No, I'm not a sour grape and yes, I am in love with my husband. He has his faults but his wonderful characteristics and charm outshines his faults.. We argue and fight like normal people and God willing, I will stay married to him till death do us part, forsaking others, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health.. And all that..
What I can't comprehend is why some people truly make fools out of themselves all for the sake of love.. Giving their money, their dignity and pride, giving their souls for a lost cause or for so called love where the other partner is nothing but a parasite, out to take all he or she can out of the person who love them until such time when the one who love is nothing more then a pathetic shadow of themselves and have nothing more to give and they will then be discarded..
I truly cannot comprehend that. The ones who love these parasites are just so blinded by their partner's 'glamour' and willingly give of whatever they can.
I can't help feeling sorry for these people. I've seen some of my friends and acquaintances, both male and female, putting up with such parasites and I feel helpless at not being able to help them as they won't welcome any negative comments on their parasitic partners and are actually so over protective of their partners that they believe their partners can do no wrong in their eyes even if it's two timing them, abusing them or such..
When I hear of such, I can't help wondering if it's so hard to find someone who can love you and accept all you are and give you the best of them as well.. I know it's possible as heaven knows I've kissed my fair share of frogs before I found my prince and we are blessed with each other's devotion and love..
So guys and girls, if your partner isn't giving you all their love , affection and devotion as they are supposed to without asking for anything in return, I dare say it's time to show them the door and ask them to get the hell out of your life as you deserve far better..

The pain of being around others..

When you are alone, you'd feel lonely after a while. Sometimes you long for companionship, relationship, someone to turn to and so on.. I was alone for a while.. I thought it was ok but at times, loneliness gets to me. You see, I am the only child and did not have anyone else, no brothers or sisters, no father who loved me. I have a mother who claims to love me but since I was a victim of her "love and affection" I decided I did not need that and over the years I learnt to rely on myself. I had children then but well, my circumstances did not allow me to have them with me nor were they close to me as they've grown up with their father and paternal grandparents..
Then, after years of kissing frogs, I finally found the man I think is my soulmate, got married, settled down and have another child. All seems well and I can banish my lonely existence and live a family life.
Now I realize I should have been careful for what I wished for and I probably had bitten off more then I could chew. I got more then I bargained for with my soul mate. He gave me a family all right. A huge family which I am sometimes thankful for. At other times, hmm..
The "hmm" is there because though I am lucky I have a mother in law, a sister in law, a brother in law and nieces and nephews.. They can be very nice, helpful, caring, socialable, open minded, easy going but they are also all rather extrovert, agressive, outspoken, quick tempered and easy to anger, easy to jump to conclusion, explosive, fussy etc. The slightest thing can set them off. I am the polar opposite as I'm an introvert, prefer the peaceful and quite and laid back life, love a little mess around.. Living with them, is like living in the killing fields, having to be careful of landmines. I always am like a cat on the hot tin roof. Minding my steps but sometimes not saying or doing anything is also a problem as to saying or doing the wrong thing..
It can be pretty stressful and lonely. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. Things are worse as I've moved back to my mother in law's house as my husband chose to live here with her to take care and be here for her. She may be 70 years old but very particular and definitely an alpha female no one wants to cross.. Heaven knows how many household helpers or maids have quit because of her bad temper and fussiness.. I just wish I could run away and quit as well but I have to think of my husband and daughter whom I dearly love, especially my daughter who is my second chance after having kind of "lost " my older ones. Heaven help me.. Nowadays only by occupying my time with work outside, or by spending sometime outside with my family, burying myself in cyberspace or books makes my life meaningful and worth living.. Else life has lost it's lustre for me.. It doesn't help at all that my daughter is also becoming a demanding alpha female who is spoilt by her father. I can't help feeling being sandwiched in between all the alpha agressive people.. My husband included, even if I loved him/them dearly. It's a very stressful situation and I'm fighting to maintain my sanity..

Down and miserable but not yet out....

"I wandered around the streets of this town trying to find sense of it all. The rain on my face, it covers the trace of all the tears I'd had to waste. Why must we hide emotions? Why must we never break down and cry? All that I need is to cry for help. Somebody please hear me cry for help. All I can do is cry for help..."
That was once one of my favourite songs sung by Rick Astley. I thought it was appropriate for my current feelings which seem to be down, down, down...
I start finding life depressing.. I have people around me, but I feel so lonely, I can't seem to talk to anyone in my family for fear of saying the wrong things and they are mightily sensitive people. Life is just so routine and as the holiday season draws closer, it's even more depressing as I can't go to work or such.
Sometimes some people do not think of other people's feelings or wants or needs. They simply take for granted that we will fall into their plans. I am surrounded by a few of these people. I am cut out without a voice or at least expected to fall into line. I find that I no longer have my own say and I am pretty much at a loss at this point of time. Everything I do seems to be wrong. I find myself getting more and more stressed out with only my books, the computer or my penpals to turn to sometimes, as not everything can be shared. And the things that can't be shared sometimes fester inside my soul, making me even more depressed or stressed out..
Life has never been easy and sometimes I wonder what I might have done in my previous life(if ther is such) to deserve all this but I am still taking it on and bearing up.. but for how long before I break I do not know..
Maybe I need a vacation but with that comes financial problems as I have so many financial obligations at the moment with almost not much breathing room. Ahh well, that/this is my life and I just have to grin and bear it for now, as long as I can....

S O M E T I M E S

Sometimes...

when you cry...

no one sees your tears.


Sometimes...

when you are in pain.

no one sees your hurt.



Sometimes.

when you are worried..

no one sees your stress



Sometimes.

when you are happy..

no one sees your smile ..

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-

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But FART !! just ONE time...



And everybody knows!!

Gotcha!! You thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories!

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now,
A year from now.
(This story was made into a commercial for last year
s Eid Fitri in my country if I am not mistaken...)

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and
Failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about father,' said the son.
'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
Neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
A rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
Your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Escaping stress into a world of fantasy....

Life in reality has been extremely stressful to me... I no longer come 'home' after work but instead go back to my MIL's home which is technically a show house with too many rules, regulations and can't stop feeling like a cat on the hot tin roof... a mistake might cost me...

I never was much of a fan of fantasy stories , usually preferring contempory romances, historical romances, self help books and chick lit, until... I guess Cheyenne McCray's books on demons , tuatha de danann and so on...

Now I am practically hooked on fantasy books especially those involving vampires, fairies, angels, tuatha d danann, ancient greek gods and so on... Hmmm... mainly from Cheyenne McCray, Sherrilyn Kenyon and now, Charlaine Harris....

ooohhh... Charlaine Harris and her True Blood series books... I just can't put it down... I am so engrossed with her stories and so in love with the characters... doesn't help that actors playing the characters are all yummy as well....

I find myself having a huge crush now on Eric Northman... LOL

But well, other then that, Eric, Sookie, Bill, Sam and all help get me through this week with excitement, they are my current best friends... if not... I probably might be popping Prozac or Xanax by now.....with all the tension I am undergoing...