Thursday, March 25, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress £2000. Tux rental-£100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £5.95 for a three-pack.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The Rat (born 1996, 1984, 1972)
This year, the Rat gets distracted by romantic liaisons caused by the Star of External Romance. This star manifests in romantic opportunities for you, but whether this is good or bad depends on you! Attached Rats should be careful not to have their heads turned by outside third parties, as this could make trouble for you in your relationship. Those of you who are single however could find this an exciting time. Rats also benefit from the luck that governs acquisition of knowledge, so if you are looking to learn something new, or to master a new skill, the year holds out a lot of promise. But beware of letting yourself get distracted, as this could hamper your progress career-wise.
Ox (born 1997, 1985, 1973)
This year brings a special kind of good fortune with the Big Auspicious Star making an appearance, but unfortunately you are handicapped by the illness star. While big things may happen for you, you could find yourself suffering from a case of low energy. Always remember to look after your health in your quest for success; falling sick at the wrong moment could cost you more than a day of classes! Continue to chase your dream and build on your vision but remember to temper your pace so you don't run out of steam just as you are getting things completed. The best advice for the Ox this year is to persevere. There may be months that are more tough-going than others, but Big Auspicious Luck is on your side, so hang in there!
(born 1998, 1986, 1974)
The Tiger faces a rather mixed year and some Tigers will do better than others. There are, however, competitive pressures coupled with some politicking on the work-orientated front. Do not let yourself get sucked into the gossip mill - if you rise above it you are more likely to come out unscathed. Be careful of the company you keep; there's a chance of bad company leading you astray. Think through your decisions carefully as hasty action could cause you to make some bad decisions. All Tigers are in for some disappointment this year, so it is a time to be more accepting of adversity and to stay low key. Tigers that make too much noise could amplify bad luck coming their way.
(born 1999, 1987, 1975)
After the tiring year of 2009, the Rabbit's luck improves with gains in health, money and success. The annual Heaven Star brings you plenty of help, which means you will have a generally smooth and productive year. There will be some obstacles during certain months of the year, so be wary of people who come with opportunities that sound too good to be true as there is a tendency to attract unscrupulous people who could take advantage of you.
(born 2000, 1988, 1976)
While Dragons are somewhat less lucky than they were last year, help from certain quarters will offset bad luck remarkably. While Dragons lack their usual vitality in 2010, your normally arrogant persona takes a back seat, and many of you will become less demanding and more tolerant. Surround yourself with your allies, the Rat and the Monkey. For those of you looking for romance, love luck is average, but if you can find yourself a Rooster or Snake partner, he or she could well be the one!
(born 2001, 1989, 1976)
The Snake can look forward to a truly dynamite year despite the troublesome robbery star flying into its home location. In addition to the Star of Heavenly Seal, you also benefit from a set of powerful indicators which brings success, career, health and inner strength. In fact, of all the 12 animal signs, you are probably the luckiest in 2010! People take notice of you and many new opportunities will come your way. Your social life becomes more active leading to new alliances and friendships with influential people. However, do not take anything for granted. You can afford to stick your neck out a little bit, but when success takes hold, don't start becoming arrogant or judgmental of others. Stay honourable or you could lose it all.
(born 2002, 1990, 1978)
The Horse can afford to gallop with confidence into 2010, for the Tiger is your horoscope ally. It is a strong year for you, with plenty of energy, self-confidence and inner fortitude helping you forge ahead, perhaps too much because you can be somewhat feisty this year! You could be louder and more hotheaded than ever. As such, you should develop more patience and curb your irritableness, as you are afflicted by the quarrelsome star this year. You come under the protection of the Earth Seal Star, which causes you to be more down-to-earth when it comes to daily activities.
(born 1991, 1979, 1967)
You are afflicted by the Five Yellow Star which brings aggravations. Obstacles that block your progress will manifest throughout the year and problems stand in the way of your success. To make matters worse, your chi strength is a double negative. This indicates a lack of inner confidence. Despite this, you are resilient and blessed with good staying power. As such, those of you who press on and persevere will find success. Although the path may not be smooth-going, there is money to be made, as most Sheep people possess good financial luck this year. If you stay focused, you will come out of 2010 stronger and wiser.
(born 1992, 1980, 1968)
You are in direct conflict with the God of the Year, which means your luck is generally not that strong. However, there are other influences that balance this out, allowing those of you with good inner chi essence to achieve success. Although the year brings some problematic moments, by and large, the Monkey will manage to stay ahead this year.
(born 1993, 1981, 1969)
The Rooster can look forward to a bonanza year filled with achievements and a whole variety of auspicious events! Your luck is augmented by a high degree of vitality so good fortune comes easily to you. Obstacles disappear and there will be few hindrances to block your ability to shine above the competition. Work and business developments will be exciting and bring recognition and promotion luck. The luck of the Big Auspicious lends an additional helping hand and you can expect to see excellent financial gains. But although your luck forecast is positive, do take some precautions because there will be months when your luck takes a dip.
(born 1994, 1982, 1970)
You enjoy the Luck of the Small Auspicious this year, which means there will be a series of small but meaningful reasons to celebrate. While nothing earth-shattering may be coming, in a variety of small ways you have many reasons to smile! In terms of the year's feng shui, there are good opportunities for establishing projects that bring long-term gains. The year will be kind as the Tiger is your ally, but overall your intrinsic energy is weak, so grand success may be difficult to achieve. Make full use of your network of friends as they will provide the most help to you in a trying year.
(born 1995, 1983, 1971)
2010 brings success luck in both your career and personal life. There will be good luck periods through the year and you will find small but significant success. The Tiger is your secret friend and so the year will bring you help. Some Boars suffer from afflicted feng shui and the presence of petty thieves could lead to some financial loss, but by and large, this year brings the chance to lay a good foundation for future prosperity. It is important that you have the right attitude at work, as arrogance and impatience will only lead to problems. Keep a positive attitude and stay optimistic and you will do very well indeed.
There are many things women have done well (or better) for the last century - just take a look at the statistics. Women make up over one-third of the civil service force. There are more women in universities than men. Our brains are scientifically proven to learn faster, work better and we even beat men at talking!
So sit up people, and pay attention. Here is a list on the things we don't need men for! Warning: May contain funny, irreverent, tongue-in-cheek, generalised assumptions of the male gender in the spirit of good fun and in the spirit of appreciation of the fairer sex.
#1: Farting in public and laughing about it
Look boys, we know it's your body's natural release mechanism, but please do not let one off, sniff around and then laugh!
"Like, yeah we need to know you let one off! Only guys can laugh about farts!" Victoria Lee, 23.
#2: Changing tyres
Yeap, tough luck guys. Technology made it easy for women to do stuff like that too. We know what is what in that kit too. So there.
"We used to need them to do it, now we don't! We can handle the nuts too, ahem." - Paula Wong, 22.
#3: Leading the Way
It's fine, guys, don't ask for directions. We are sure you would figure it out eventually. Meanwhile, we'll just fire up our snazzy GPS, follow the fool-proof instructions (in a female voice too, ironically) and see you there.
#4: Carrying that load
Are women weaker than men when it comes to lifting heavy things, or are they socially encouraged to believe so? Suck it up, girls, and carry your own textbooks and laptops. The next time a guy offers to help, appreciate the gesture, but accept only if you really need it, and not because you are "the weaker sex".
"What weaker sex? My mum was carrying buckets and buckets of water from the ground floor to the fourth floor during the big KL water rationing a decade ago." - Cindy Lim, 24.
#5: Letting us win
Guys, don't go "Fine, whatever you say" just because you are arguing with a girl. Contrary to popular opinion, we are not always right, and we are able to carry a debate without bursting into tears. If you are surrounded by girls who think and act otherwise, perhaps it is time to get out more.
#6: Making us laugh
There was a time when men can recycle the most overused punch lines and still generate polite, demure giggles and some batting lashes. Then females went to discover gender equality. Now, everybody can crack jokes (and lameness affects both sexes). The best part is - nobody has to laugh.
#7: Making us feel good about ourselves
We no longer need men to tell us we look great, because here's a little secret: Women dress up for other women, not for men! We do that because we know that if we wear the right shade of lipstick, another gal-pal would notice it and compliment us for it. If our shoes are to-die-for, our girlfriends would gush over them at once. Boys? Meh, they can't even tell the difference between pink and coral.
#8: Dancing the night away
Girls just wanna have fun, and what can be more fun than a girl's night out?
"You don't always need guys when clubbing! Unless, of course, there is a group discount rate and the only one left to make up your numbers is a guy." - Denise Choong, 21
#9: Lecturing us on how to drive
True, some female drivers are slower and more nervous. But the last we checked, a lot of men drive like maniacs themselves. Just because you can cut a corner quicker doesn't mean you are cutting it right, honey.
"From accident statistics it is found that men in the age group of 21-40 are considered to be prone to accidents." - Study on "Safety on Expressways" by Malaysian Highway Authority (MHA) and PLUS Expressways Berhad (PEB).
#10: Maintaining the car
There are those who wait for their daddies to pump in the petrol, but there are also those who drive straight to the mechanic to check on a noisy engine. Girls, be in charge of your ride. Maintain it with pride.
"It doesn't matter if you are a guy or a girl. Every driver should be responsible for his or her own vehicle, and take good care of it." - Kristen Koo, 23.
Yeah, so the greatest chefs are men. Yeah, and so the sight of your man in the kitchen is sexy. But never forget that we know how much that kilo of carrots cost, we know where to buy the freshest of them, and most of all, we know where it is inside the fridge. Men will never survive the fridge-search.
Men and shopping go together like celery with everything: It is a recipe for disaster. This is the domain in which females reign supreme, and men need not apply. Besides, we are already adept at carrying those bags - all it takes is ten sit-ups every morning.
#13: Remarks on Our Looks
Listen up: Grading us on a scale of 1 to 10 is not cool. Take a gander at getting a mirror on your own looks first before telling us we are 3 out of 10. We don't take these grades as a compliment because it makes us feel like a piece of meat.
"Worst thing for a guy to do is make remarks on our bodies. What gives them the right to tell us we're attractive or not?" - Kristin K, 21.
#14: Take Charge
It used to be that men were deemed rulers and leaders, and women would stay in the background to wear the corsets and look good for their man. No longer!
Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, Aung San Suu-Kyi, Condoleezza Rice and Benazir Bhutto. These women sound familiar? That's because they, among many others, have given the men a good run for their money in the top spots.
The challenge is to practice politics as the art of making what appears to be impossible, possible - Hillary Clinton.
Fancy us fainting in a man's arms at the first sign of danger? Not a chance. These days, women are taking charge of their own safety. Crime, afterall, is not gender bias, and there are policewomen who have made it their duty to protect the citizens as well as any man. After all, DCP Datuk Robiah Abdul Ghani created history in the Malaysian Police force after being appointed as the Chief Police Officer (CPO) for the Pahang state, making it the first woman in the country to hold the portfolio.
In this economic crisis, statistics have shown in the States that more men lost their jobs than women: Women, who generally dominated the more stable industries like healthcare and education, kept their jobs in times of trouble, while the men were laid off. An article in the New York Times predicted that for the first time in US history, women seemed poised to surpass men on the payroll.
And locally, we see women dominating the higher, managerial positions in the civil service at 53 per cent to the men at 47 per cent. While some parties have insisted this is bad for the country, it remains that women are getting better jobs and education than ever before.
#17: To Take Us Down
Regardless of how many glass ceilings women have already broken, there is always more to bust open. We don't need men to take us down at every step of the way: We certainly don't need the look-downs and the discouragement. So keep the 'shouldn't you be in the kitchen?' remarks to yourself and get with it - women are equally as effective in the corporate structure as men.
As females, there will always be those who think we earn too much, aim too high, get married too late, wear too little, assert our opinions too often - just because of our gender. The common argument is that women should not be too successful or too forward, because that scares off guys.
And no, we do not need crude iPad jokes - though it may be nice if YOU took up a book once in a while, Mister.
"We don't need men to be intimidated by us taking charge. We need you to instead support us and work together with us." - Roya Astani, 23.
#18: To Abuse Us
Even as you read this, one out of six women are being abused by their boyfriends or husbands, and living in fear of the next beating. 3756 cases of domestic violence, 196 cases of child abuse and 3098 cases of rape were reported in 2007, based on the latest statistics by WAO. And with the highly secret nature of these wrongs, it is highly possible that there are so many more cases than what you see reported in the news.
While organisations like the Women's Aid Organisation (WAO) work hard to fight this shocking statistic, there is still a much-needed concerted effort among both women and men to put an end to abuse and gender-based violence.
#19: Objectify Us
We cannot say this enough: We are not pieces of meat. If you want to promote cars, then promote the car and not the hot, sexy, gorgeous female driver. If you feel the need to sell products, do it without objectifying the female body. Banish the stereotypes in advertisements and take the 'ick-factor' out of those sexist ads, thank you very much.
#20: Pick up the Tab
Do it because you want to give us a treat - don't pay for the tab because you think it is your 'man-duty'. With women earning almost 90 per cent of what men earn, we can well afford it. You can, however, offer to buy the dessert, because we will feel less guilty about it afterwards.
So there you have it - but the list never stops here! As women find themselves and their voices in society, they have won milestone after milestone and will continue to do so, no matter what!
And, because no one says it better than Aretha Franklin: R.E.S.P.E.C.T!